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vadad

Being careful about language when coparenting

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https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/anna-giannone/coparenting-advice-divorce-children_a_23493157/

I really like some of these.

1. Drop the term "my ex" in favour of "my child's mom/dad" or "my child's mother/father." 

7. When receiving a text message or email, kindly respond with "got it" or "will get back to you shortly" and be specific about when you will get back to them. This is a simple act of kindness that goes a long way and will create a positive ripple effect. It also prevents being an avoider, which will create resistance.

9. When speaking to your child about something that requires joint decisions, say, "Your mom/dad and I."

 

I'm good at most of them, but #7 really struck me from having been on the receiving end--in particular, the idea of being an "avoider". Few things annoy me more than when I write the kids' mom about something kid-related and she chooses not to reply to that message.

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16 hours ago, vadad said:

1. Drop the term "my ex" in favour of "my child's mom/dad" or "my child's mother/father." 

9. When speaking to your child about something that requires joint decisions, say, "Your mom/dad and I."

I've struggled a lot with what to call my wife (we're separated, not yet divorced). Ex doesn't feel right. Referring to her as my children's mom sort of eliminates any relationship between the two of us. I guess that's where we are, now, though; are the kids the only reason we ever talk to each other or even common acquaintances? When talking about her to the kids, I usually just refer to her as, "mom". When talking to other people, I still tend to say, "wife". Guess I'll have to figure that out when the divorce actually goes through.

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