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  2. https://drkarenfinn.com/divorce-blog/coparenting/509-13-reasons-why-co-parenting-doesn-t-work-for-everyone Lists 12 requirements for successful coparenting, then inverts them to identify those situations in which one of those 12 is not met. The 12 are:
  3. I would make sure you help the kids do something for her. I wrote a bit about this last year: Mother's Day for the separated or divorced dads out there
  4. Do you do anything for the kids mom or not?
  5. No arguing via text. Texts are saved for coordinating.
  6. It seems useful to coordinate on things like bedtimes, screen time, rules, etc.
  7. Thanks guys. I guess my worry is the threat of litigation, especially because we don't have an agreement in place.
  8. It seems pretty natural for parents to want to talk about college as the date approaches, divorced or not. It seems a reasonable thing to try to plan. Had you given any thought or planning before the divorce to college?
  9. Without it being mentioned in a legal agreement, there's a fair chance you can't legally be obligated to anything. In a lot of places, you have no obligations after the kids are 18 UNLESS you sign a contract agreeing to continue to support them. That's a different question than whether you want to plan with your ex to help pay for your kids' college after they're 18. You might think it's the right thing to do, and want to make joint plans to do so, without necessarily legally obligating yourself to do so.
  10. My ex has raised paying for college a few times recently. She tried to casually drop it into conversations a couple times, then recently when discussing finances said something about how she'd have to start saving soon to pay for the girls' college (we were well enough off when together that we hadn't felt the need to save). We've been broken up about 2 years, fully separated about 1.5 years, but we don't have any formal legal separation agreement. We've just agreed to live in separate houses, have separate finances, and have agreed on 50-50 custody. Girls are 7 and 10. I'm not sure what to think of this all. It's pretty clear she wants me to volunteer to (help) pay for college.
  11. My stepdaughter's mother lets her eat candy for dinner - Slate Interparental aggression often co-occurs with aggression toward kids - Penn State News Throwing everything into co-parenting after divorce - CBC .
  12. Finally, I am able to convince my parents for a night out with bf. I was very tough for me to convince them.
  13. Hey Everyone, I understand this is a bit off topic from this post but just wanting to see see if anyone would be open to sharing their co-parenting experience and willing to help others by working together with us to build a co-parenting solution that actually works. If you would be interested in helping and have a spare 2 minutes, the below survey link contains 3 questions and asks for basic customer details. It takes less than 2 mins to complete and would be amazing for any feedback. Copy and paste this link into your browser to go to the survey - goo.gl/forms/fkJ1HDNuzeY0A9YE2 Thanks
  14. Yep, but he has a new girlfriend. Be honest with yourself about whether you're being friendly because you really want to be that close of friends with him in this new reality or if you're still clinging to the way things were or even secretly hoping to get back together.
  15. Do other struggle with this? I have a lot of a feelings for him and he does for me as well, but he has a new girlfriend. I feel like he's taking advantage of my friendship to hold on to me emotionally. It would probably be best to stop communicating except for things necessary for my daughter, but then it feels too serious and tense and we slowly creep back to being friends.
  16. The 7 best coparenting apps out there - SheKnows Apps offer a range of services including secure/recorded messaging, sharing of documents, expense tracking/sharing, shared address books for kids' contacts, and even access to live mediators. Of course, sometimes all you need is a good calendar. Donald Trump Jr finalizes divorce from Vanessa Trump, but exes still co-parenting
  17. Another round-up of coparenting apps: The 7 best coparenting apps out there - SheKnows.com 2houses amicable coparently ourfamilywizard cozi talking parents google calendar
  18. We're still having troubles with the little stuff. Did you order the kids' yearbooks at schools? Do I send in the field trip money, or just pass the note on to the ex? We don't want to be constantly sending bills back and forth for 50% of minor expenses, but I don't want to hesitate to send in a payment for something because I feel like I've been overpaying lately.
  19. https://goodmenproject.com/divorce/9-tips-for-co-parenting-with-a-difficult-ex-kfnn-cmtt/ This one really speaks to me:
  20. https://goodmenproject.com/divorce/9-tips-for-co-parenting-with-a-difficult-ex-kfnn-cmtt/ Article points out that one of the things everyone should think about is if co-parenting is even possible in their relationship (by that they mean highly cooperative and coordinate parenting). In some situations the kids are better off with "parallel parenting" (which I think is really just low contact coparenting), because the parents don't get along so trying to coordinate too much actually makes things worse.
  21. Though I think people idolize coparents who do a lot together too much, birthday parties are one thing that I think can be more special for the kids if you and the coparent can agree to both participate in the same one. If they have one event that includes the people most important to them, I think that's a more special memory for them than multiple partial groups.
  22. I came across this article that I think summarizes it nicely: What type of relationship should I have with my co-parent now we're divorced? An important point is that all three of these are good parenting relationships. People so often seem to hold up "allied" as the ideal, but arm's length and autonomous can both be good parenting relationships, and more realistic for many people's divorces.
  23. It's nice that being friends with the ex's new husband works for them, but I think we have to be careful not to make it seem like that should be the goal for everyone.
  24. Co-parenting app helps mediate - Fast Company ’One unique family’: Dad and stepdad-to-be inspire with harmonious co-parenting of little girl Woodling: Co-parenting suggestions for when ex is difficult - Florida Today
  25. Unless the split is completely mutual, if one person is still interested in the other, I wonder how such arrangements would survive one of them having a new partner. At one year of separation, I do a lot with my ex-wife and the kids, but I have to admit that some of that is attraction to my ex-wife. I'm not sure I'd be nearly as interested in doing stuff with my kids, ex-wife, and a new husband.
  26. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/01/14/how-get-divorced-without-hating-your-ex-or-tearing-your-family-apart/?utm_term=.df84adaf8bd5 My ex and I try to do family stuff together (birthdays, holidays, and dinners out every couple weeks), but she's just not comfortable just "hanging out". I'd love to reach the point that she came over for dinner or just hung out on a weekend afternoon.
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